Hands Down, Get Laid
by totaldefeat
Summary: Naruto is twenty-two and still single. He's never been in a relationship and his two childhood friends (who he's extremely close with) are about to change that by setting him up with a girl. Half-crack, very ooc. Modern AU. NH and SS. Mainly third person Naruto pov. Rated M mostly for language.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N** : When I say this is crack, I mean I'm not taking the story seriously. I have the plot in my head just not written down. This is serves the purpose for my venting and practice in writing where I don't have to think too deeply into things. Warnings of ooc and if you're okay that, enjoy.

* * *

They were at it again.

A loud and muffled moan woke Naruto up in the middle of the night. He blindly reached out to the side of his pillow to find his phone. He flipped the cover and groaned seeing it was only two in the morning.

Maybe they'll be done soon, he thought. So Naruto waited another ten minutes, lying awake on his bed.

"Ah, nhmm…!" came another moan and this time it was more clear. His neighbour's bed springs squeaked and a couple seconds later, it sounded like a weight plopped onto the mattress.

Naruto squeezed his eyes shut and he covered his ears with both hands. My god, he didn't need to know she just came.

"Ugh…" A deep groan. There was panting and wet sucking noises.

Once the sounds stopped coming, Naruto strained his ears to make sure it really stopped. When he was certain his neighbours were done, he removed his hands from his ears and pulled his covers close. As he snuggled into the blanket, he heard someone speak.

"Hey baby, want to go for another round? It's been so long since we've seen each other," a woman's voice said. A grunt followed and something banging—most likely a bed—the wall separating Naruto's and his neighbour's rooms started again.

Biting his lip in frustration, he tossed and turned several times and even hummed in an attempt to block out the noises.

"Oh, so good, right there!" screamed a voice.

That was it. Naruto got off his bed and swung his door open. He squinted at the lit hallway and started pounding on his neighbour's door.

"Guys, I know you're in there and I need you to shut up," he called. Naruto opened his mouth to say some more when the door in his face whipped back.

"I'm not sorry."

Gaping, Naruto just blinked at him before spitting, "Sasuke, I don't care. I just need you two to stop. You know I have to get up early for class!"

Sasuke leaned a forearm on the doorframe and tilted his head. "Yeah, and I don't care either," he said.

"Naruto?"

"Sakura…" Naruto whined. They talked about this.

"I know, I know. But can you let this slide? Just for tonight?" Sakura pleaded, eyebrows knit. She hid behind Sasuke and he knew immediately she wasn't wearing anything. He could see the side of her boob she couldn't cover up. Naruto snorted at his own thoughts and he had to correct himself. It was that she didn't _bother_ to cover up. Sure the three of them were childhood friends, but really? Thank sweet Jesus Sasuke put on his tomato patterned boxers before answering the door though.

At this point he was gone too far with this strange casual intimacy Sasuke, him and Sakura had. It felt normal and that was bad. What if Naruto got a girlfriend and couldn't get it up because he'd seen his best friends stark naked on a daily basis? He'd practically become immune to their shameless behaviour around him. Another naked body might not do it for him.

"Fine," he said and crossed his arms. "But only if you guys stop having sex and let me sleep now."

Sakura took a deep breath, pacing back in Sasuke's apartment. She came back a moment later and answered, "No."

"No?" Naruto blinked. "What do you mean no? You guys can't just, ugh." He threw his hands down in frustration. "I have an early class, please!"

His friend clapped her hands together and shut her eyes. "Please. After one more round, I promise we'll be done and you can sleep," Sakura said.

A sigh. Sasuke walked away from the door and Naruto heard the fridge open. He could see Sasuke come into his field of vision again. The man sat down on a chair and cracked a can of beer, taking a few gulps.

"Naruto…" Sakura pleaded again and Sasuke's can of beer thunked on the table.

"You heard her, now go sleep," he said.

"Fine. Man you guys suck and I just said I can't until you're done you stupid bastard!" Naruto retorted.

Sasuke's hand stopped mid-way in the air before his lips touched the can. He arched an eyebrow.

"Is that jealousy I hear?" he taunted.

"Who says I'm jealous?" Naruto shouted, stepping forward when Sakura's hand pressed his chest.

"No arguing. Save it for next time," she said, smiling and slammed the door closed.

Naruto made his way back into his room, grumbling curses along the way and flopped onto his bed. He'd have to deal with them having one more round.

"Fuck, Sakura so tight!" Sasuke shouted and moaned.

He couldn't believe the bastard was being loud on purpose. How typical of Sasuke to take every chance he could to get under Naruto's nerves.

"Oh, Sasuke, baby so hard. Mhhhn!"

This time it was Sakura. Were they banding and ganging on him tonight or what? Naruto grabbed the edges of his pillow and sandwiched the side of his head, filtering out at least a little of his friends' happy hour. He heard murmurs and they grew in volume.

"Hey!" Sasuke called at the same time as his wall banged. Naruto released his grip on his pillow, ears free to hear.

"What?" he called back. There were rustling sounds on the other side and he wondered if they were still going at it.

"Sakura wants to ask you something, dobe."

He heard Sakura scream, "O-oh, yes. Grind that spot, Sasuke."

That answered his question.

"Are you free tomorrow?" Sakura asked while their bed kept squeaking and bouncing.

"After my one morning class, yeah. Why?"

"We're going to meet up with a classmate of m—Sasuke mnn..Stop for a second," she said and the sounds ceased. "A friend of mine's moving back into town and we're meeting for lunch tomorrow. Want to come?"

Naruto hummed, thinking through his options. He could either play games at Kiba's tomorrow, hang with Shikamaru who probably won't be at his place or mooch off a free lunch from Sasuke.

"Sure," he replied. He heard Sakura giggle and frowned at that. He shrugged his unease and rolled onto his side, sinking into his bed. He trusted Sakura, nothing bad would happen.

* * *

The next morning, Naruto quickly dressed and rushed to his creative writing class. He was no good in it, but took it anyways. Jiraiya, his godfather had suggested he try his hand at writing since he believed Naruto to have talent. How right he was, he thought and refrained from rolling his eyes.

The hour and a half passed by in a blur and Naruto was grateful the instructor dismissed the class 20 minutes early. He was on the verge of falling asleep. He ran home, dropping his backpack on the couch.

Naruto checked the time on his phone and decided to hang in Sasuke's place. If he was going to have to wait another hour and a half until lunch, he was going to use it to chat with Sakura—who's always at Sasuke's even though she wasn't living with him—instead of doing nothing in his room.

It wasn't like Naruto owned any games and he really, he didn't have a tv. There was hardly anything in his room, nothing to do. Sometimes it was kind of lonely like that. His eyes caught the Polaroid sitting on the kitchen counter and smiled. Maybe there was one thing that he liked doing that he actually had.

"Hey, Sasuke," Naruto said, knocking the door lightly. "You there?"

He got no response and sighed, digging into his jean pocket. He took out a key and let himself in. Naruto slipped his sneakers off and paused when he heard a clank. He stepped into the kitchen and spot Sasuke.

"Why didn't you open the door if you wer—Oh my fucking god you guys." Naruto shielded his face with a hand, peeking in between his fingers. Was he seeing right? No tricks?

Sasuke grunted. "I gave you a key for a reason. Don't feel like opening it every time you come over," he answered and Naruto dropped his hand just in time to see the guy thrust forward.

"Yeah and I don't think I need to see this every time I walk in," Naruto said, seating himself on a black wooden chair. He leaned back, staring at the sink.

"Naruto, you're here. Want a snack? I can scramble some eggs for you or do you want a toast?" Sakura sat up on the counter.

"No, it's okay," Naruto declined. He didn't feel like eating anything made in the kitchen right now. Not when Sasuke had Sakura on the counter, her naked ass kissing the quartz countertop. Absolutely not when they were fucking on the countertop.

"Okay then. You're pretty early for once," Sakura commented and the two lovers proceeded having sex. Naruto sat in his seat bored out of his mind for the next hour while the kitchen was filled was slapping noises, wets squelching sounds, a lot of things. He slid the window, allowing fresh air to take away the musky scent that was making the room stuffy.

"Thanks," Sasuke mumbled as him and Sakura cleaned up their mess. He shrugged.

The door knocked and Sakura fixed her hair as she went to answer it.

"Hinata, hi. It's been so long! Come in. Let me and Sasuke get ready and we'll go," she said.

A woman with long, midnight purple hair was towed into the kitchen.

"Wait here," Sakura said and disappeared into Sasuke's bedroom.

The woman stood where Sakura left her, looking nervous. Naruto tilted his head to the side, shifting in his seat.

"Hi, nice to meet you," he said. "I'm Naruto."

The woman jumped. She faced him and nodded. "N-nice to meet you…I'm Hinata," she said.

"Hope we can get along." Naruto stuck out a hand.

At a loss, Hinata simply blinked at his offered hand and wiped her palm on her thin purple hoody. She slowly reached out her hand, pulling back a bit in hesitance. Naruto grabbed her hand and shook once. Hinata smiled shyly.

Sakura came into the kitchen, spotting their joined hands. "Reconnecting already, huh?"

What?

"Doubt it," Sasuke said, coming out from the bathroom. He slipped on a black V-neck shirt.

A girlish squeak caught Naruto's attention and his gaze landed on Hinata. She had her hands covering her eyes and at first he was confused at why. He turned back to Sasuke. It was because he walked in half naked.

That's cute.

"Okay, let's go," Sakura said and they shuffled out of Sasuke's flat. The girls were ahead, chatting happily on their way to the elevator. Naruto waited while Sasuke locked the door.

"Do you remember her?" Sasuke asked, jamming the key into the hole. He shoved the key into his pocket and the two of them walked side by side. Judging by his friend's silence, Naruto forgot.

"She was in our elementary class," he explained. "Hinata. Remember that quiet girl that always sat in the corner?"

The quiet girl in our class?

" _That's_ her?" he asked.

"Yeah, that's her," Sasuke confirmed, a smirk spreading on his face.

"Well, um, damn."

An elbow jabbed at his rib and he hissed, "What?" Naruto looked at Sasuke, frowning.

"You were checking her out. This is good, gotta let Sakura know about this," Sasuke said, chuckling. He stuffed his hands in his pockets and paced in front of Naruto.

What was that about?


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N** : You guys made me feel like writing the second chapter right after my classes so here's the second chapter. If you guys have something you want to see like leopardsnow (mentioned the Akatsuki members), I'll try to fit it in. There's only so much bad humour one person can think of.

Guest: I'll try to. As I said this was made for me to vent and it's random. Haha it'll be a while for Naruto's turn...

* * *

Somehow Naruto was no longer walking next to Sasuke and instead, Hinata was beside him. His two friends were about four meters ahead of them, acting all lovey dovey, arms touching. Okay, maybe they weren't, but that's what it looked like to him.

Once they had left the apartment building, Sasuke ditched Naruto, striding over to Sakura. They started getting immersed in their own conversation, leaving Hinata out like a third wheel.

He shook his head when he saw that. He understood that third wheel feeling very well. Every single time the three of them hung out, Naruto would bore to death as they weren't including him in their chats as much as they should have.

Now that he thought about it, he started feeling like a third wheel to their dates back when Sasuke had family troubles in high school. Man was puberty's influence scary. Sasuke's inferior complex got the better of him at the time and he closed himself off from everyone. He always felt the need to prove himself, prove his self-worth. With an older brother like Itachi, it was no wonder he couldn't handle the pressure. Because, no matter how well he did or how hard he tried, Itachi would always one up him and Sasuke's parents—his dad to be more exact—would focus their attention to Itachi.

To summarize the long, angst filled, depressing and run away from home Sasuke days, Sakura and Naruto pushed him until he surrendered. Or in another version where they both tried to help Sasuke face his problems and Sakura had to kick his door down while Naruto stalled the parents from coming upstairs.

"Sakura…I don't think I can hold them any longer," Naruto wheezed. His arms were stretched out as Sasuke's mom and dad pushed. His legs gave out and the three of them fell to the floor in front of Sasuke's room.

"Crazy boy, if you think I'm going to let you near my son again, yo—" Fugaku's words died in his throat, eyes widening.

"Yeah, yeah. You'll thank me later, but get off of me will you?" Naruto coughed.

Sakura grabbed the collar of a limp Sasuke and was screaming, "You think it's fair for us? We care for you and we want you to be happy. If you don't want us to help, at least do something about it other than mope around and do shit to yourself."

Even from the odd angle, Naruto could see tears and snot streaming down Sakura's face. Her nose was red and the expressions his best friends had—pain, frustration, and feelings they've been bottling inside—squeezed his heart to the point it'd burst. He was going to cry.

Sakura's fingers twisted into Sasuke's shirt and whispered, "We care about you…If you hurt, we hurt and it hurts so much to see you like this."

The weight on Naruto's body lifted and it went without notice. He stayed sprawled on the floor. He watched Sasuke's dark irises glisten and he frowned.

"Please…"

He wasn't sure if that came from him or Sakura, but Sasuke's eyes shifted away from her. Naruto gave a small smile. The gaze on him softened and Sasuke's head bowed.

"Okay," he mumbled.

Releasing her grip from the fabric, Sakura dropped Sasuke on the ground and sank to her knees.

"Really?" She breathed and you could hear the smile in her voice.

"Yeah, really," Sasuke said, scratching the back of his head. He was still facing the floor. "I'll talk to them…" He raised his head and started.

"Sasuke…" Fugaku started, "if you were worried about something, you should have talked to us. We're your parents."

"Your father's right," Mikoto said softly and smiled. "We're here for you if you confide in us. If you're willing to…" She covered her mouth and frowned, voice shaking as she murmured, "If only we'd notice and approached you…"

Seeing how Sasuke was frozen in shock, staring at his parents, Sakura threw her arms around him. She wrapped her arms tightly around Sasuke's shoulders.

"See?"

He slowly brought his hand to cling on Sakura's shoulders and slumped against her. "Yeah…" he croaked.

Naruto sprung forward and rushed forward to the two, wanting to join in on the moment. Unfortunately, his foot was numb and he stumbled sideways. He moved to counterbalance the sudden change in position so he wouldn't fall and it failed. He slammed into Fugaku's back and the man had no time to react as his hands flew in front of him.

Sakura pulled back, smiling and she pat Sasuke's back. She was proud of him and glad.

"Whoa!" came a yelp from Naruto and it was too quick for Sakura to react to. She barely turned her head before Fugaku's hands pushed her. Her forehead bumped into Sasuke's and momentarily stunned, she sat still.

A fwomp sounded next to her and she dazedly looked to see that it was Sasuke's dad. Sakura screwed her eyes shut and glared at Naruto who was flat on his stomach, gazing up at her.

"Naruto! What the hell do you think you're doing?"

"Calling the ambulance," Naruto said, dialling in three digits into his flip phone. "Hello? Yeah, I need an ambulance for two."

"Two?" Sakura questioned.

"Yeah, one's a forty-ish year old man and the other's a fifteen year old boy," Naruto continued to the emergency operator on the phone. He pointed to the wall behind Sakura and cautiously, she turned around.

She gasped, shaking Sasuke by the shoulders. "Sasuke, wake up!" she screeched. Her arm was yanked and she was face to face with Naruto.

"Don't shake him. He might have a light concussion," Naruto said and Sakura frowned at him, worriedly.

"But…I'm sure our heads didn't bump that hard…Actually that was your fault, wasn't it Naruto?" She narrowed her eyes at him and raised a fist. She was going to have to give him a piece of her mind later.

"Please. It might be my fault Sasuke's dad fell on you, but he'd be alright if your forehead wasn't so hard he'd go flying backwards and hit his head against the wall," Naruto argued.

Sakura blinked, leaning back. "Excuse me? Did you just insult my beautiful forehead?" she scoffed.

"I don't know. Maybe?" He shrugged. "By the way, the ambulance says they're on the way," he informed.

A breath of relief. "You're calling this," Sakura gestured to her forehead, "hard? Hate to break it to you, but I've been told it's my charm point."

Naruto smiled, propping his elbow on the ground. He leaned into his palm and said, "I know."

The tension cooled and Sakura returned a smile.

"You know what else I know? I know that Sasuke's going to love poking that forehead of yours." He snickered as Sakura sputtered and cuffed his head.

* * *

"Naruto-kun?" a small voice called.

Naruto looked to his side, Hinata blinking at him.

"Are you alright?" she asked and he turned, staring at Sasuke's and Sakura's backs.

"Yeah, I'm okay and Naruto is fine," he said.

There was a pause and he glanced at the woman again to see her cheeks dusting in pink.

"No seriously. It'll be really weird if you added any honourifics to my name," Naruto explained, waving a hand in the air.

Hinata nodded. "Then you should call me Hinata."

Flashing a grin, he gave a thumbs up. "Got it, Hinata."

Now that he had a closer look at her, Naruto noticed she was attractive. Scratch that, real attractive, a darn beauty. The way her silky strands brushed by her shoulders when a breeze blew, get caught and pool down her collarbone was nice. He decided to strike up a conversation and well, why wouldn't he? He was Naruto, the number one chatter who could make friends with anyone, anywhere at anytime. It was in his nature.

"You're not cold in those are you?" he asked, looking briefly at Hinata's denim shorts. Her eyes followed his gaze and she shook her head.

"It's nearing the end of spring…and I have these socks," she said, smiling slightly.

"Hm, thigh highs." Naruto hummed in contemplation. "Well, spring is almost over like you said and today's pretty warm anyways," he said, placing a finger on his chin.

"S-so it's okay?" Hinata asked, craning her neck forward.

"Yeah. I mean, if you're not cold, it shouldn't matter right? If you like it, wear it," Naruto stated and winked at her. He found it weird that she was asking him if it was alright for her to wear what she had on.

Hinata giggled. "That's true. And I guess…" She paused and Naruto waited patiently for her to continue. "You should wear more of your orange."

Naruto stopped in his steps. "What did you just say?" he asked, holding his breath. Hinata stopped as well, shrinking at the change in atmosphere.

"Oh, no, don't do it…" Sakura groaned. Her and Sasuke turned, waiting for the pair to catch up when they'd overheard Naruto.

"Shush, let me hear her," Naruto cut in, sticking a palm at Sakura. He saw Hinata shift and look away in awkwardness and reassured her.

"You didn't say anything wrong, I just want to hear what you said one more time."

"Oh…" Hinata gazed at the cement sidewalk and her toes curled in her boots. "I said that you should w-wear more orange."

He jumped up and down on the spot, fist pumping. Naruto's hands landed on Hinata's shoulders and he bent down to her eye level.

The sparkling and intense eyes focused on her made Hinata's heart beat fast. She was embarrassed and wished Naruto would redirect his gaze—though, to be honest, she liked it.

"You and me, Hinata," Naruto started, excitement leaking from his words, "we're going to get along so fucking damn well you don't even know it."

"U-um, I think I'd like that…?" Hinata replied, unsure of how to respond.

They both didn't hear Sasuke whistle. "Wow, he's smooth," he said.

"That's called smooth?" Sakura wondered.

"It's Naruto, that's as smooth as he can get."

"Makes sense."

* * *

And so the rest of the ten minute walk to the local diner was filled with chatter. Surprisingly to Naruto, it was really easy to talk to Hinata. He thought it'd get awkward if someone as shy as Hinata, or at least from what he remembered from elementary, didn't speak a word. He was proven wrong. She did speak and she did converse.

It was a pleasant change of pace. Their conversation was slow, not at all rushed like his bantering with Sasuke, Kiba, heck even Sakura. They took their time talking, getting to know each other at a leisure and comfortable pace.

The four of them were shown to their seats and of course, he sat in front of Hinata. Naruto was beginning to get the feeling his friends were setting him up. Taking away the denial part, he'd say his friends were setting him up with this cool girl.

They ordered their meals, beginning to chat again amongst themselves and once the food came, they all quieted. It was food, who doesn't want food? All hail the power of food that could shut Naruto up.

He twirled his spaghetti with his fork and slurped it. It was good, the sauce was great. The noodle was too, however, it paled when compared to his ramen. Nothing beat ramen. Spaghetti sauce was made out of tomato and the sauce was good.

"Hey, Sasuke wanna try some? It's pretty good," he said, looking at Sasuke who was seated beside him. The man paused in his own meal and used his fork to gather the noodles from Naruto's plate.

"Hn, I've tasted better, but it's not bad," Sasuke commented. A movement caused him to drag his eyes to meet Sakura's. She moved them back and forth from his plate to Naruto's face. He didn't understand what she was saying until he saw a mischievous glint in her jade irises. He smirked in his hand.

"Hey, Naruto," he said, grabbing the guy's attention.

"What?" Naruto asked, smothered by the spaghetti noodles. He swallowed.

Sasuke dug into his plate, piercing through the lettuce and a slice of tomato. He held up his fork to Naruto.

"Wanna try the salad?"

"Sure," he answered. Naruto leaned over to take a bite and licked his lips, tasting more of the salad dressing. He groaned.

Sakura masked a bubbling laughter as a choke.

"Man, that salad's actually pretty good. For a stupid salad I mean," Naruto said.

"Naruto, you need to try my halibut too," Sakura whined, holding a piece of fish across the table.

"Oh okay," he said and opened his mouth. His friend were being awfully kind today. They were paying for his portion—he was broke okay— _and_ they were offering him their food too?

The fork slid through his lips and he nodded.

"I like it."

"Pft! I can't…oh my god," Sakura choked and started slapping the table.

Confused he glanced at Sasuke and to add to his confusion, Sasuke had his eyes cover with a hand and was shaking.

Sakura eventually cleared her throat of her halibut and began to laugh maniacally that Naruto thought she sounded like a witch when she squeaked while she giggled.

What wasn't he getting?

Then he turned his head to look away from Sakura and Naruto saw Hinata.

She had a smile on her and her cheeks burned. Hinata's eyes averted to the side as she spoke, "I…h-had no idea you guys were so c-close to each other…"

"What? Yeah, we're pretty clo—" Naruto gasped. He glowered at Sasuke and Sakura. At least they'd stopped laughing.

"Guys!" he cried. "I told you not to do that in front of people."

Sakura huffed. "What's the big deal, Naruto? We share food all the time," she said firmly, but couldn't prevent the lop-sided grin from spreading.

"I meant don't feed me in public. Do you know Kiba and Chouji still give me a creeped out look when I see them?"

"Shikamaru and Sai were fine with it," Sasuke said.

"That's because they're weird and don't care! You made me eat your disgusting salad in front of Hinata you know," Naruto shouted.

"You know you just called yourself weird? And you said the salad was good. Are you bipolar? Is there something we need to know?" Sasuke retorted.

"Yeah, and I called you that too." Naruto threw his fist on the table, the condiments leaping and falling. "You jackass I am not bipolar."

He heard a crack and gulped.

"Naruto, you wanna repeat that one more time? Huh? You just dissed me and my boyfriend, don't think you're gonna get away with that…" Sakura stood up, cracking her knuckles of both hands.

"W-wait, Sakura. Don't do this. Guys, I thought this was a catch-up-with Hinata outing?" He waved his hands, vigorously, hoping Sakura would calm down. Naruto squeezed his eyes shut. He was going to die.

"Next hang out we have, you guys aren't coming. Just Hinata and me because you guys are insane!" he blurted.

When no brutal falcon punch came, Naruto cracked an eye open. Sasuke and Sakura were peacefully sitting in their seat, drinking water. He brought his arms down and frowned. What made them back off?

Hinata stood up, leaving money on the table.

"I-I'd like that too…A hang out…I don't mind if it's just us," she stuttered and the tips of her ear became red. She clutched the strap of her bag and walked past Naruto in a swift motion.

Naruto faced his friends.

"What?" He breathed.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N** : I had no idea what I was doing while writing so don't ask me about why my humour is bad nonsense. Wow this chapter got longer than I thought it would. Hope it entertains anyways haha.

Sasucakes: I'm glad you like them here! I'll try to include and write about them more here.

Guest: Ahh, I'm happy to hear you say that. Happy that you're enjoying my vents as well.

* * *

The old wooden fence creaked as Naruto pushed it and tried to hook the door back in its place. He banged the thing once against the lock, the door springing back towards him. He sighed and went to ring the bell.

Kiba opened the door, ushering Naruto inside. His friend was in his pajamas, if he could call the baggy red t-shirt and gray sweatpants Kiba had on pajamas, his bed hair sticking out. Naruto followed after Kiba up the stairs and he sat on the ground in the living room.

"So, you ready to study?" he asked, setting his backpack down. He took out his class notes and put them on the coffee table, seeing Kiba disappear into the kitchen.

"I don't know. Honestly, I don't think studying now is gonna help," Kiba said. He dug the pantry for snacks and chips, scanning quickly for the ones he wanted to eat.

"You want anything to drink?" Kiba called, stepping into Naruto's view.

"You have ice tea?" He flipped to the first question of the review package his instructor for kinesiology gave a week ago.

"Uh…" The fridge was opened and closed shortly. "No, sorry we're out. We have ginger ale, beer, orange juice….and chocolate milk left," Kiba listed.

"Chocolate milk then."

Kiba set the food and drinks on the table. As Kiba started to open his notes to the right page, he paused, looking at Naruto.

"What?" he asked.

Naruto gave Kiba a strange face and pointed to the cup. "Why the hell did you give me a bendy straw?"

He frowned when his friend barked in laughter.

"I thought you had that cavity problem?"

"What does the straw have to do with my cavities?" Naruto retorted. Just because he'd had one too many sweets during his childhood, didn't mean he had to drink through a straw. His dental hygiene was fine and besides, he hadn't gotten a cavity in two years.

"I promised your mom when you moved out, remember?" Kiba snickered at Naruto's lost face. "She gave everyone who was there helping you pack your stuff to promise a bunch of things to make sure you do this or don't do that."

Finally, Naruto realized what his friend was talking about and dropped his head to the coffee table.

"I remember. Ugh, I don't remember bendy straws being one of them though," he groaned.

"There's a lot of them you don't remember," Kiba pointed out. Naruto blankly stared at him.

"I didn't bother to memorize every little thing she said. It wasn't for me anyways, it was for you guys," Naruto said and grinned. "Aw Kiba, you remembered my mom's teachings and kept an eye out for me. Like with this bendy straw. What a good friend," he cooed.

Kiba made a face and tore his gaze away from Naruto to look at his paper. "That's 'cause your mom made me recite it all," he mumbled. As hot as Naruto's mom was, she was kind of crazy when it came to her son. If chasing Naruto's bullies in elementary school with a broom wasn't crazy, he didn't know what was. She beat those kids with a freaking straw broom. Other than her impulsive behaviour that Naruto inherited from her, she was cool.

"If you didn't want the straw just say so, geez." Kiba reached for Naruto's cup of chocolate milk and was stopped by a hand.

"Wait, who said I didn't want it?" Naruto let go of Kiba's wrist and sipped his drink from the cup. "You went out of your way to get it for me, I can't let your effort go to waste, can I?"

That was it. Naruto's obvious sarcastic tone was ticking him off.

"So it's okay if I spread your pictures?" Kiba smiled deviously.

Catching the evil undertone in his body language, Naruto stopped and his jaw went slack.

"W-what pictures?" he asked carefully, slowly straightening his posture.

His dog-loving friend whistled, rolling his eyes.

"Oh…I don't know," Kiba started, pulling out his phone, "maybe these?" He scrolled with his finger, down the collection of photos in a folder labelled Blackmail Naruto Material. As expected, Naruto jumped at him, hands trying to grab his phone. Kiba laughed, putting his phone into his other hand so Naruto couldn't get to it. He pushed the man's face, waving the device in the air.

"Not so fast," he said, avoiding Naruto's attempts to poke his eye. He heard a growl and a sudden pain in his hand made him drop his phone. He yelped and taking that opening, Naruto snatched it up, deleting the whole folder.

"Dude, did you just bite me?" Kiba grumbled, inspecting his hand. It already had red imprints of teeth marks and he blew at it.

"Sorry, but desperate times call for desperate measures," Naruto said.

"I can always get my hands on those pictures again you know."

"Who took them and why do you have them?" he questioned.

"Confidential information, can't tell you," Kiba said and huffed. "Are we going to actually study or what? The exam's tomorrow. I know enough to pass, but what about you?"

At the mention of their midterm the next morning, Naruto bit his lip, and looked away. He picked up his pencil, tapping the tip onto the paper. He squinted his eyes at Kiba.

"Don't think I'm going to forget this, Kiba," Naruto warned and Kiba shrugged. They got to work, reading through their notes Naruto hadn't even glanced at since the beginning of the semester.

Unfortunately after an hour and a half, Naruto thought it was about time for a break and somehow that resulted in them playing Dead or Alive on Kiba's Playstation 2, forgetting about their review session.

"Hey, I got my hands all tied up, tag me out," Kiba shouted, scooting his character away from the computer opponent. He turned his head, confused why Naruto wasn't responding.

The opponent character reminded Naruto of Hinata—the purple outfit and the purple hair, though the shades were different. His thoughts wandered to the time at the diner and the time he saw her during work.

"Basically you just asked her on a date and she said yes," Sakura said, leaning on the table on her forearms.

"Okay, friend date that's normal."

"Um…" Sakura exchanged a look with Sasuke and they stayed silent.

"That's cool and all, but what if she has a boyfriend? You know how guys don't like other guys hanging alone with their girlfriends. Call it possessive whatever. I'll be in deep shit six feet under the ground," Naruto said, holding his head in his hands.

The two blinked. Was that a reference to something?

"He's gone ahead and scared himself," Sakura whispered to Sasuke, nudging him lightly with her elbow.

"I mean, I don't want to break someone's relationship you know and have some guy hunting me down," Naruto continued to ramble on.

"You scared the guy will beat you up?" Sasuke asked and saw Naruto make a troubled face.

"That's not the problem. I don't want to ruin anything. Also, I've watched enough tv shows to know drama can get real messy," Naruto said, shaking his head. He slumped his upper body forward onto the table. He let out a long humming noise.

"She seems nice though…" he muttered.

"There's not going to be any angry guy hunting you Naruto. Hinata's single," Sakura assured softly. Her eyes locked with Sasuke's again.

"Wasn't there that overprotective cousin of hers? If he found out what we're doing…" Sasuke said in a hushed voice. Joining her lover in that same line of thought, Sakura's mouth parted.

"There's also her dad to think about. Well, not the kind of angry boyfriend he's panicking about," she mumbled back.

"Oh that's…great. Hehe…" Naruto grinned, rolling his face on the table. The two snorted at his goofiness.

The trio paid the bill and began walking onto the streets for a day of shopping. Sakura was in the changing room in one of the stores while Naruto and Sasuke waited.

"Don't need to buy anything?" Sasuke asked, side-glancing at Naruto.

"No. I'm broke if you forgot. I hope I can make this month's rent on time." Naruto chewed his bottom lip. He better get his pay this week or else he'd be dead.

"You should've roomed with me, that way we could have split the rent," Sasuke said.

Naruto scoffed. "Rooming with you when you two are doing stuff day in and out?"

"We don't do it as often as you think we do."

"Sakura practically lives with you. She can't keep her hands off you when you're near you know," Naruto said and sighed.

"It's not much of a difference since you live right next door." Sasuke shrugged. It was pretty much the same whether Naruto lived in the flat next to his or in his. The lack of sleep Naruto was getting because of them was proof of that. Whether or not a wall separated them, Naruto would hear their activities anyways.

"Sad how that's true. At least I get my privacy."

Sasuke had to chuckle. Little did his friend know he was the one who let Kiba into Naruto's apartment when he was asleep to take embarrassing photos. Though, it wasn't his fault Naruto was a heavy sleeper that Kiba could move his limbs into funny positions and poses. Fun times.

After their small conversation, Sakura popped out, twirling in her outfit. She asked for Sasuke's opinion and he gave it. They all knew Sasuke wasn't particularly picky with what she wore so the comments were plain. Sakura went to pay for the clothing and they parted at her bus stop.

The keys jangled as Sasuke unlocked his door. He felt Naruto brush by and he called, "Naruto."

Naruto raised his head. "What?" He was momentarily stunned by Sasuke's knuckles knocking his chest.

"Even if there was some mad boyfriend chasing to beat you, you wouldn't lose," Sasuke said, smirking.

He composed himself and returned the smirk. "Yeah, of course," Naruto answered.

* * *

The second time he saw Hinata was during his part-time job at the supermarket a block from his apartment. A co-worker of his asked Naruto to cover for him as cashier for ten minutes so he could smoke out at the back. The boss was chill about it as long as there was someone around to take care of the customer's purchases.

Multiple clear plastic bags containing fruits were set on the counter and Naruto waited until the person finished moving their items from the basket. As the woman bent up again, their eyes met and recognition sunk in.

"Hey, Hinata," Naruto said, gesturing a hand. He watched as Hinata nearly jumped on the spot in surprise. Her face went red and immediately, she bowed.

"S-sorry!" Hinata sputtered. "I didn't mean to forget."

"What are you talking about?" he asked, brows knitting.

"I didn't give you my number…" Hinata mumbled and Naruto just blinked. His mouth opened in understanding.

"Oh, it's fine. I could've asked Sakura for your number."

Hinata exhaled in relief and looked at Naruto. "I don't have pen and paper on me," she said.

He didn't really get it and was about to repeat himself that he could get it from Sakura when he caught something shining in Hinata's eyes.

 _Oh._

He pat his jeans and pulled out his phone without breaking eye contact with her.

"Can you put it in my phone?" Naruto said, holding out his cell to Hinata.

"Sure." She found the add new contact button and punched in her phone number along with her full name. She passed it back to Naruto, seeing him pocket the phone swiftly. They started to stare at each other, taking in the other's face.

It was nice, Naruto thought absently, to do nothing but look. His pleasant moment was interrupted by a rough cough. His attention flew to the old grandma standing in line behind Hinata. He scanned Hinata's items in a smooth motion, inputting the codes after he'd peeked at his cheat sheet—well, the boss taped a reference list on the counter beside the machine.

Naruto announced the total and Hinata handed him the exact amount. She heaved the bags off the counter and hesitantly glanced at Naruto. He felt compelled to say something.

"I'm off in five minutes. Do you want to hang out after I'm done with work?" he asked. Naruto saw Hinata look towards the exit.

"My sister's with me. If you don't mind…we could go out for a drink?" Hinata rubbed her thumb over the plastic bag in her hand. She smiled widely when Naruto grinned at her.

"Yeah! Let's hang out," Naruto replied, giddy. He breezed through the grandma's groceries and stuffed the money into the cash register. He dashed to the staff room once his co-worker came back, gathering his belongings and dashed out to meet Hinata and her younger sister.

"This is my younger sister, Hanabi," Hinata introduced and the girl waved. "She's seventeen."

"Hello there," Naruto greeted. "I'm Naruto."

With the introductions done, Naruto pointed into a direction, smiling.

"Alright, let's go to Triple-O's for a milkshake. Or do you guys have somewhere else you want to go to?"

Hanabi gasped. "Yes, let's go, we're going there." She balled her fists, shaking a little in excitement. "You read my mind."

Naruto chuckled. "Someone's a fan of milkshakes. You okay with it too, Hinata?" he asked. He paused, seeing the woman frozen up with a…was that a wobbly smile on her face?

"Sister loves their strawberry milkshake so of course she's fine with it, right?" Hanabi answered, patting Hinata's back. Hinata relaxed at the contact and stopped trying to hold in her delight.

Naruto was taken aback, shocked by Hinata's glowing face. There was a hint of pink in her cheeks and he could feel warmth gather in his own.

Hanabi ordered the blueberry, he got the chocolate—his usual—and Hinata the strawberry. They sat by the window and chatted for the rest of the afternoon. Naruto learned a lot about his elementary classmate and a little about her sister. Hinata's family moved to a more luxurious part of the country during seventh grade for work and now she was back for her studies.

When Naruto had asked what she was studying, he didn't know how to feel.

"Business…" she said and frowned.

"You don't like it," Naruto stated. He saw Hinata's fingers fidget around her milkshake.

She lifted her head. "I don't."

He wasn't going to ask her why she would be studying something she didn't like. People had their reasons be it family pressure, for money, or it could be a test—study it then find whether they like it or not. It wasn't just that that was keeping Naruto from prying though. Hinata struck him as the kind of person he had to be delicate with and part of that was because he didn't know her very well yet like he did with his childhood friends.

It was different. Different than helping Shikamaru bust into Chouji's room, different than starting a fist fight with Sasuke to get him to talk, different than arguing with Sakura and different than kidnapping Akamaru because Kiba refused to prank their teacher with him. Naruto was also more mature now, he'd be considerate.

"Sister, we have to go before Neji starts throwing a fit," Hanabi said, pushing the chair back as she stood. Hinata nodded, agreeing.

"Neji? You mean that stuck up overprotective cousin of yours?" Naruto asked, eyes widening.

"Yes, that's the guy!" Hanabi shouted, slamming her hands on the table. She leaned forward. "He's cool, but when it comes to my sister, lame." She shook a hand and made a face.

"Well, he was smart. There was always that other side of him so…" Naruto stretched the word, thinking of an appropriate adjective.

"So much like an ass? Has a stick stuck so far up his ass he's walking stiff straight?" Hanabi supplied.

"Hanabi…" Hinata warned, afraid Neji might appear out of nowhere and overhear her sister.

Naruto threw his head back, cackling. "Both of that! God, you're hilarious." He wiped a tear from his eye and said, "I was thinking he's so stubborn that he'd trip and crack the sidewalk, falling into the depths of the earth creating diamond with his forehead."

"And you have crap humour, wonderful. Hang out with my sister some more and maybe it'll rub off on her, why don't you," Hanabi teased and Naruto cocked his head to the side, crossing his arms.

"Didn't your sister teach you to flatter your elders even if they're spouting nonsense?" he said. He held his forehead, putting his other hand up to stop Hanabi from answering. "Actually, don't say anything. Sorry, I inherited my lame sense of humour from my dad."

"Apology accepted," Hanabi said.

They left the restaurant after finishing their drinks, tossing the cups into the trash. It was already early in the evening when they stepped outside.

"Sorry about Hanabi…" Hinata muttered sheepishly.

"Ah, no it's okay. She's funny." Naruto looked past Hinata where Hanabi was waiting at the corner for her sister to wrap up the goodbye. He tried to think of something to say, something a little more than a lonely see you next time when I do kind of thing. Naruto's eyes fell to look at Hinata's skirt that clung to her waist on the top and flared at the bottom. He smiled, he liked that style.

It occurred to him that he didn't comment about her appearance and rubbed his neck in preparation to do just that.

"You look cute today," Naruto said. He hoped he didn't come off as strange. "I like the skirt." Someone needed to tell him he was being creepy. Naruto didn't get the whole courtship, romance thing. Maybe he should've kept his mouth shut, shouldn't have attempted at complimenting people when he couldn't. It made him sound like he was like every other guy trying to hit on girls.

Hinata perked up at his words though. She lowered her head and touched her skirt. "Y-you think so?"

"Yeah, I do," Naruto responded instantly.

"It doesn't look odd?"

Naruto chuckled. Where was she going with this? "No it looks pretty."

"I'm relieved. I…made this and I wasn't confident that it'd turn out okay," Hinata said, flushing in embarrassment.

"No way, seriously?" He must've been loud, he realized and quietened down. "I can't believe you made this…"

"It's a hobby of mines and I always enjoy making and designing clothing," Hinata said, each words growing louder as a wide smile spread on her face.

Naruto grinned. "Show me what you make next time!"

"But it's not that good…" Hinata gaze travelled to the ground.

"Please, please, I want to see," Naruto pleaded, curiosity getting the better of him. He grabbed her hands and shook them. He was excited. None of his friends were into arts, choosing to study bland things like business management—no offence to Shikamaru—history, calculus, physics and whatever. Not that he had anything against the subjects, it was just his friends weren't too interested in the same things he was.

"Please? I'll show you my photo collection if you show me your clothing designs," Naruto said and Hinata gasped.

"You're studying photography?" she whispered, disbelieving. She was certain someone like Naruto would be doing sports instead, seeing how he was full of energy to move every time. He loved physical ed, she remembered in elementary. He was playful, aggressive when he played against Sasuke's team or that's what it seemed to Hinata.

"No, I'm not. It's…a hobby of mines," Naruto replied, still grinning.

Hinata squeezed his hands, gazing up at Naruto in resolution. "Okay," she answered.

* * *

"Naruto?" Kiba called again, waving a hand in front of Naruto. He whipped his head to back to the tv, finally seizing the chance to tag his character out before he died.

"Naruto, you're the only one left, beat them," he said, nudging his friend.

"What?" Naruto blinked, staring at the screen to see his character get beat up and his hp going down. "Shit, sorry. I wasn't paying attention."

One way or another, Naruto beat the opponents and they cleared the round. They were about to continue on when the entrance door creaked open.

"Crap, that's my sister," Kiba cursed. The two of them scrambled to unplug the game console and make it look like they hadn't touched it.

"Hey." Naruto stopped in his actions, a thought dawning upon him. "Why're we scared of being caught not studying? We're not in high school anymore…"

"Very good question," Kiba said and pushed Naruto to the window. "Because my sister will kill us like she almost did when we were in high school. Her rage fits aren't fun, alright?"

"I don't remember anything," Naruto mused.

"Oh that's 'cause you hit your head and got sent to the hospital," Kiba continued and slid his window open. "No time, she's stomping up the stairs now. Tell me about the girl you were daydreaming about later."

"How do you kn—" Naruto didn't get to ask his question as he was shoved through the window. He landed on his feet, crashing into the fence before dropping onto his side on the hard cement.

"What the fuck Kiba?!" he yelled.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N** : Sorry for the wait. I didn't really have the will to sit down and type slowly. Surprisingly, once the words come, the typing gets faster. Well, the last part where I didn't make any sense not so much. Kind of obvious who the boss is haha. Am I derailing too much from the NaruHina?

* * *

 _Stupid Kiba._

Naruto was going to storm back into Kiba's house to give him shit for pushing him out the window, but when he heard violent crashing and a loud roar inside—also something that sounded like Kiba's pained whimper—he quickly got up and ran. What in the world was Kiba's sister mad about? He didn't think it was his study session with his friend though.

When he opened the door and let himself in Sasuke's apartment, Naruto was greeted by the sight of Hinata and Sakura sitting on the couch. He gently shut the door and made his way further into the room.

"Hey, Naruto," Sakura said and Naruto motioned a hand to say hi. He glanced over at Hinata and nodded, acknowledging her.

"Can you check me?" Naruto ask, jerking his head to the bathroom and went straight into it hearing Sakura follow after she excused herself from Hinata.

Sakura looked him up and down, putting her hands on her hips as she huffed. Naruto sat down on the toilet seat.

"Kiba pushed me out the window," he said and Sakura arched a brow. He chuckled lightly and got to explaining. "We took a break from studying and played games until his sister came home."

"Ah." Sakura made a sound as if that was all she needed to hear. Seeing Naruto's curious expression, she shook her head. "You don't need to know."

The last and only time those two actually enraged Kiba's sister was in high school and it was best Naruto didn't remember what happened. Well, Naruto was the one to make her snap, but Kiba was just as guilty for bringing the guy over…They were lucky to escape death with a minor concussion.

"Don't worry about Kiba though, he'll be fine. Hana doesn't get as mad as she used to when you guys slacked off."

Naruto scoffed, "I don't think I'm too worried. But…I heard some pretty loud crashing. If that's not her being mad, then I don't know what to say."

"Kiba probably pissed her off. It doesn't have to do with studying." Sakura bent down and took Naruto's arm in her hand. She cupped the side of his face, turning it to inspect different angles.

"You look fine. Tell me if I touch a spot that hurts," Sakura said and began pressing her friend's arm in multiple areas, going further up while looking for any signs of discomfort on Naruto's face.

"Ow, ow. That hurt a little."

Immediately, Sakura loosened her grip and brushed her thumb over the back Naruto's elbows. She felt around, touching carefully.

"It's a bruise, you'll be fine. You don't look disoriented either, but check with the hospital incase," she said and stood.

"Thanks Sakura." Naruto grinned up at her. Sakura looked at him and sighed. She could never stay angry at him for long. It wasn't his fault he got into trouble often. Trouble often found him.

"Is everything okay?" Hinata asked, peeking into the bathroom.

"He's fine, maybe lost a couple of brain cells."

"Yeah, I'm good. Just got bruised, nothing bad," Naruto said and directed the grin at Hinata. "So how are you? Get enough sleep this time?"

Hinata jumped, realizing what he was referring to and looked sheepish. "Sorry for falling asleep during our conversation and I'm good as well."

"No problem, I don't mind. Eat when you're hungry, sleep when you're tired. That's how things work right?"

"And study when you have an exam the next day," Sakura commented and Naruto ignored her. He got off the toilet seat and stretched his arms above his head, breathing out in contentment as the knots in his joints came undone. He hid a slight wince when he moved.

Before Naruto could shuffle past Hinata and into the living room, a finger poked him. He took a step back, blinking at his friend. Did she just…?

"This time isn't your fault so I won't tell you off," Sakura started as she retracted her hand from below Naruto's forehead in between his eyebrows. "But be careful in the future. Neither of us want you ruining yourself by being reckless."

The soft smile she gave him had a hint of sadness in them and Sakura turned Hinata by her shoulders, guiding the other to the living room.

"Now let's go find a movie to watch together on Netflix," Sakura said, leaving Naruto in the bathroom alone. Hinata glanced back, hesitant whether or not to say something and decided to stay quiet. It felt like there was a hidden meaning behind Sakura's words, something personal that was only shared between Sakura and Naruto and there was no place for her to intrude. Somehow it was lonely to know that she was absent for the majority of his life. Hinata thought she'd like to get to know Naruto more and maybe it was because he'd been her childhood crush. Not that that changed now that she'd seen him again.

Time was ticking and it pushed Hinata to be bolder and braver than she ever had been. She wasn't the her ten years ago. Now was now. Perhaps Hanabi's teenage personality was rubbing off on her. What was the phrase she used a lot again? You only live once. That was it.

Once the two women were settled into the couch again, a chuckle left Naruto. He leaned against the doorframe, a hand holding his mouth and looked over to stare at Sakura's pink hair. A faint flush painted his cheeks. God did he feel loved. To be honest, he hadn't gotten into any fights that would get him hurt in a long time and when he was reminded just a second ago that Sakura and Sasuke were still worried about him…

Underestimating Naruto in a fist fight was unimaginable: he wasn't weak and if both parties ended up hurt, they were the ones worse off. Sure, he was sucky in the beginning getting punched into pulp, but it was insulting to even think he was being worried over for injuries he brought upon himself. His friends thought he wasn't careful enough and too reckless. Fast forward to the present, Naruto couldn't dream of being offended. Man were Sakura and Sasuke precious to him.

He made his way to the couch, catching a snort coming from Sakura. It was probably for his coloured cheeks. He smiled and shrugged.

"So what're we watching?" Naruto asked and plopped down onto the couch, beside Hinata since Sakura took the edge seat.

"You can pick," Sakura answered and threw the remote at Naruto. He hummed, browsing through the titles when he stopped. The cursor lingered there, a highlight around the movie poster.

"Oh damn. I love this title," Naruto muttered. Sakura lifted her gaze to check what Naruto picked and went rigid. He fished his phone out and dialed Sasuke up.

"What're you—" Sakura wanted to ask and shut her mouth. Wow, yes of course Naruto would call her boyfriend for something like this.

After a few rings, the line was connected.

"What do you want, make it quick."

"I found the perfect series title to shove in your face," Naruto said, repressing his urge to laugh. The line went dead and he brought the phone away from him to make sure. The bastard hung up on him. He called the guy again.

"Why'd you hang up? I didn't say anything yet. I know you're on break, you prick," Naruto said as soon as Sasuke picked up.

"I told you not to call me when I'm at work, but you don't listen do you. Spit it out or I'm hanging."

"Wait, I got it okay. Hear this, the show's called Orange Is the New Black. Get it? Story of my life and the end of yours." He lashed out in laughter, pounding a fist in the armrest of the sofa. He waited for a reaction from Sasuke and instead heard another man's voice in the background.

"Mr. Uchiha! What the _fuck_ do you think you're doing before a bust?" There was a muffled noise of Sasuke dropping his phone to his side and a click sounded.

"I'm on an important phone call. What do _you_ think you're doing shouting before a bust?" came Sasuke's retort and Naruto kept silent. Okay, so he wasn't on break like he usually was at this time.

Pressing his ear to the receiver, Sasuke said, "No, it's nothing. Just some co-worker making a fuss in front of a door where we're supposed to do a bust. Yeah, bye dad."

He tilted his head back in defiance, challenging his co-worker. The man zipped his mouth, not wanting to argue a call from the Uchiha's father was not of importance.

Naruto blinked and stared at his phone. Did Sasuke just call him dad?

In the end, they didn't watch Orange Is the New Black due to Sakura's insistence that they don't. She said it'd scare him and Hinata, which he didn't really understand because how scary was an all female prison story? From what he could see from the cover picture, it was comedy or something and not horror. Sakura was acting suspicious too. Did she and Ino watch it before?

Later in the evening, Sasuke came home. With a deadpanned face he asked Naruto a question like he was stupid.

"Did you land yourself in jail?"

Sakura and Naruto stared back at Sasuke from the sofa—Hinata had to go for a family dinner.

"What?" was all Naruto could utter.

"Orange? You going to a jail that has an orange prison uniform right?"

"No, I was talking about the tv show," Naruto said.

"Not gonna bail you out if you did." Sasuke huffed as he loosened his tie and strode into the kitchen to get water.

"Heartless," Naruto replied, holding a hand to his chest as if he was pierced through the heart with a knife.

"It was a joke," Sasuke said and set the glass of water down. He went to Sakura and circled his arms around her neck from behind the couch.

"Welcome home," Sakura murmured and caressed his forearm.

"Yeah," Sasuke mumbled and the two moved to peck the other's lips.

 _Heh. Lovebirds._

* * *

Walking down the streets wasn't so chilly that Naruto had to wear another layer over his t shirt now that the weather was becoming more like what it should be for spring. He threw his arms behind his head and strolled through the city without a destination. A delicious smell had him backtracking a couple steps, mouth watering. He ordered a bowl of ramen and sat on a stool, waiting for his food. Naruto was starving. Even ramen that wasn't Ichiraku's didn't prevent him from eating at the shady street stall he'd never seen before.

He wasn't listening to his surroundings and was shaking his leg in impatience as his ramen was slipped into the bowl. The chef placed the steaming bowl in front of him and he broke the disposable chopsticks to dig in when he heard the guy next to him let out an annoyed noise.

"Hah? What did you say we had to do? Yeesh, more work."

Naruto craned his neck, noodles hanging from his mouth to look at the guy. His eyes widened.

"Deidara!" he shouted, almost spitting the curly noodles on the blond's face. Deidara's fingers slipped and pressed a button that ended the call. He turned, feeling like he should bash this rude stranger's face in. His boss was gonna skewer him for cutting him off mid-sentence like that.

"Naruto?"

"Hey, how are you? I didn't know you were back." Naruto swallowed his ramen then drank some of the soup base.

"I didn't know either. It was an urgent job, un," Deidara said and shrugged.

"So much for the vacation, huh?"

"Fickle boss. What can I do, un." Deidara grunted in distaste. One moment his boss would tell him he had to get somewhere asap and the next he'd be yelled at for being at the wrong place doing the wrong job.

Naruto laughed. It's been a while since he'd heard his friend's un, un, at the end of his sentences. He talked into his bowl, continuing to eat his food, "Well somebody needs to get laid."

Deidara coughed, choking. "No. I don't think he does," he responded. The man had to be in his sixties! "Are you telling me you need to get laid?" he asked and this time Naruto choked.

"No!" Naruto blurted, his face turning a little red. Deidara waved a hand in dismissal, looking unfazed.

"Don't worry about it. I heard it from the young Uchiha."

That was worse. So Sasuke was running his mouth about his lifestyle to everyone? At least Naruto was aware of it. Sasuke didn't know he was friends with Deidara.

"What kind of job are you doing?" He changed the topic quickly to avoid being on the spot. He didn't exactly need another person poking their noses in his non-existent sex life. It seemed to work as Deidara thought.

"An art piece that'll blow people away when they see it, un," Deidara announced, throwing his hands to act like explosives. A flash ran across his eyes and Naruto recognized it as excitement. His friend loved to talk about his work where he created masterpieces and how art was an explosion. He didn't really get what Deidara meant though.

"You gonna tell me who your lame boss is yet?" Naruto asked after Deidara finished his heated descriptions of explosions. He was oddly detailed in them.

"Confidentiality, Naruto," Deidara chided, wagging a finger. "But I guess a description wouldn't hurt."

It was harmless fun. If by chance Naruto found someone by that same description and got himself into trouble by interrogating the man if he knew Deidara or not, it would be hilarious. Naruto was Naruto and he probably wouldn't find the man. Even if the man was close by him…What did Deidara care? If he could see his boss annoyed, it would be interesting and technically, he didn't tell Naruto his name so no trouble there. He secretly wished Naruto would feed his boss hell—get his boss in trouble.

A long mane of hair who wore collared shirts often and held a pompous aura around him. Naruto swore he could visualize the man, but filed the description into the back of his mind for later.


End file.
